Trades, we will hear your confession now.
Confess your sins and win £50 a week
Look we get it, sometimes not everything goes to plan. Sometimes the customer is a nightmare, perhaps the job is cursed or maybe (just maybe) you messed up!
Trade Fess Hole is the website to absolve you of your sins. Submit your trade confessions, we make it anonymous and if we choose your confession thanks to our friends at Powered Now we will send you £50.
Always a rat amongst us
Confession: Starting out I used to keep a dead rat and a perfect example of a wasps nest in my van. Would use them as props, especially on big sites. A dead rat managed to keep lots of contracts alive.
Tea tax is real
Confession: Tea Tax is real, especially for emergency call outs. No cup of tea, your job just got longer by an hour.
Keeping it in the family
Confession: Spark here, had a fixed price contract on a series of new builds, the developer was absolutely clueless but lovely guy. I helped him with some pricing for plumbing, heating and electrical based on my experience. Marked it all up by 20%, employed all of my mates for 18 months and saved him money. Everyone was happy!
Developer dirtbag
Confession: Used to work for a scumbag housing developer that would massively overrun on completion dates on the construction of new builds, especially for phase two once a lot of the cost had been covered. Constantly put off the completion date as housing prices around here have doubled. Plan was to annoy the purchaser so much a load of buyers drop out, loose their deposit and the houses go back on the market for current market value.
Secret foundations.
Confession: I used to work for one of the big builders, if you live in a new build made by us never dig down more than half a foot down in your garden. Empty cans of Monster, sandwich wrappers, all sorts of crap just under the top soil.
Always happy to share.
Confession: Fixed a roof for a lovely lady that had the cowboys in, she had no money and they had cleared out thousands of pounds for a £500 job. I found the owner of the cowboy business and regularly sign him up for spam emails for inappropriate products. I like to give back.
More money than sense.
Confession: I use Google Maps street view to check the value of the cars on the drive before sending a quote. Fancy car, you pay a tax!
Who’s the real mug?
Confession: I can spot the tradesman's mug a mile away, always seems to be people that have collections of Emma Bridgewater mugs or porcelain china. I take great pleasure in using them when the home owner is out.
Too close for comfort…
Confession: Weird customer has just moved into a new home wanted their "old" boiler replacing. I fitted the boiler 3 months previous. Tried to talk them out of it but they were adamant, I replaced it for an identical model and fitted the 3 month boiler in my own house.
Sneaky Snags
Confession: Working on a new housing estate if I get to meet the owners and they are horrible I always make a small mistake on purpose but in a hard to find place. The snaggers are always useless and miss it. I take great satisfaction that Karen will find it in about 6 months time.
Kitchen Nightmares
Confession: There is kitchen in North London that has all its cabinet doors fitted upside down. The owner asked if they were the right way around, but the doors were all bespoke carpentry and I had routed out the hinges already. I told the client it was the latest trend. They believed me and even complimented my cutting-edge style.
Shed ringer
Confession: I once built a garden shed for a client, turns out I built it in the wrong house. Turns out it was a holiday let so I sent the bill to the agent and it was paid without question.
Love you baby
Confession: I’ve had more conversations with boilers than I care to admit. I always say, ‘Come on, baby, you can do it,’ before I hit it to get it working. It’s basically a pep talk for machines.
This idea sucks
Confession: I unclogged an outside drain using a customer's Henry the hoover once. It worked perfectly, but I didn’t tell them and just acted like I had a secret professional tool. Pro tip, Henry is good at removing sanitary products from a 4 inch drain.
